Why Twice Exceptional Clients Often Feel Misunderstood in Therapy
If you’re twice exceptional, therapy can be complicated. On paper, you look “high functioning.” You’re articulate, insightful, and self-aware. You can describe your emotions clearly and reflect deeply on your experiences. And yet, you leave sessions feeling unseen, frustrated, or vaguely like you’re “too much” and “not enough” at the same time.
For many twice exceptional clients, the issue isn’t therapy itself, it’s the disconnect between how they’re perceived and how they actually experience the world. At the Keely Group, we offer online informed, compassionate therapy to twice exceptional (2e) people with high responsibility, even if you have had bad experiences with therapy in the past.
When Insight Masks Distress in Twice Exceptional Adults
One of the most common challenges twice exceptional clients face in therapy is that their insight is mistaken for stability. Because you can talk about your feelings in detail, your distress may not register as urgent. You might explain how overwhelmed you feel, only to be met with reassurance that doesn’t quite land.
You may find yourself thinking, I can explain what’s happening, but that doesn’t mean I’m okay.
Being able to analyze your emotions doesn’t mean you’re regulating them. Being self-aware doesn’t mean you’re coping well. Many twice exceptional clients feel stuck in a cycle where they’re understood intellectually, but not emotionally.
Over time, this can lead to a quiet withdrawal in therapy. You stop bringing up the things that feel hardest. You start wondering whether you’re just “bad at therapy,” or whether your struggles aren’t serious enough to deserve attention.
“You’re Doing Well” Doesn’t Always Feel Reassuring
For twice exceptional clients, hearing “You’re doing really well” can feel surprisingly invalidating. Not because it’s untrue, but because it often ignores the cost.
You might be meeting expectations at work while barely holding it together at home. You might appear calm in session while your nervous system is constantly on edge. You might be succeeding outwardly while feeling chronically behind, overwhelmed, or burned out.
When that effort goes unseen, it reinforces a familiar message: If I’m capable, I shouldn’t be struggling like this.
This dynamic can make it hard to ask for deeper support. If your therapist seems reassured by your competence, you may feel pressure to keep performing—even in the one space meant for rest and honesty.
The Fear of Not Being Believed
Many twice exceptional clients come into therapy with a history of not being believed. Maybe teachers dismissed your struggles because you were gifted. Maybe previous providers minimized concerns because you were functioning “well enough.”
That history doesn’t disappear in therapy. It shows up as hesitation. As overexplaining. As carefully choosing words so you don’t sound dramatic or ungrateful.
You might wonder:
Will they think I’m exaggerating?
Do I need to prove that this is actually hard for me?
If I’m this self-aware, will they think I don’t need help?
When therapy doesn’t explicitly make space for this fear, it can quietly shape the entire relationship.
When Coping Skills Aren’t Enough For Twice Exceptional Brains
Many twice exceptional clients have already tried all the strategies. They’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, made the lists, downloaded the apps. They don’t come to therapy for basic advice; they come because the tools haven’t solved the underlying exhaustion.
When therapy focuses primarily on skills without understanding the nervous system behind them, clients may leave feeling like they’ve failed at techniques that weren’t designed for their brain in the first place.
This can reinforce self-blame: Everyone else seems to benefit from this, so why doesn’t it work for me?
What’s often missing isn’t effort or motivation. It’s attunement. Twice exceptional clients benefit most from therapy that adapts to how they process information, regulate emotion, and experience the world.
What Supportive Twice-Exceptional Therapy For Adults Can Look Like
When therapy works for twice exceptional clients, it feels different. There’s room for complexity. Strengths and struggles are held at the same time, without one canceling out the other.
Supportive therapy:
Recognizes that insight does not equal ease
Validates exhaustion without minimizing capability
Adapts tools rather than assuming one-size-fits-all
Makes space for both intellect and emotion
Names the cost of masking and overfunctioning
Most importantly, it feels safe enough to stop performing. Safe enough to say, “I’m not okay,” without having to justify why.
You’re Not “Too Much” for Therapy
If you’ve ever left therapy feeling misunderstood, discouraged, or quietly ashamed for needing more, it doesn’t mean you’re doing therapy wrong. It may mean the approach hasn’t fully accounted for your lived experience.
Twice exceptional clients don’t need to be simplified to be supported. They need twice exceptional therapy that honors nuance, nervous system differences, and the emotional toll of living in a world that often misunderstands them.
You’re allowed to need depth. You’re allowed to struggle even when you’re capable. And you’re allowed to seek therapy that meets you where you actually are, not where others assume you should be.
Stop Performing and Start Healing with Twice Exceptional Therapy in NYC
You don't need to justify your struggles or prove you're "struggling enough" to deserve support. If you're exhausted from masking, overexplaining, or feeling misunderstood in therapy, twice exceptional therapy in NYC can help you finally be seen for who you really are—not just how capable you appear. At The Keely Group, we offer online therapy designed for 2e adults who need depth, attunement, and permission to stop holding it all together. Follow these three simple steps to get started:
Review our FAQ page to learn more about twice exceptional therapy and our approach at The Keely Group
Complete our online contact form to schedule a consultation with a therapist who gets it
We'll follow up to match you with a therapist who sees both your capability and your exhaustion—and helps you stop performing
Additional Online Mental Health Services Offered at The Keely Group in NYC
At The Keely Group, we understand that being articulate and insightful doesn't mean you're not struggling—it just means your distress often goes unseen. Our twice exceptional therapy in NYC helps high-functioning, neurodivergent adults feel truly understood, stop performing in therapy, and build sustainable support that honors both your capability and your exhaustion. We offer flexible online therapy options, along with additional services designed to meet you where you actually are, not where others assume you should be. These include: