Happy couple standing in a shady park next to a tree talking. Begin to strengthen your connection by understanding your attachment style with the help of couples therapy in NYC.

When couples seek therapy for communication struggles, they often believe their main issue lies in how they talk—or don’t talk—to each other. But beneath the surface of miscommunication, many couples are actually navigating deeper emotional currents tied to their individual attachment styles. At The Keely Group, our couples therapy approach helps couples look beyond words and into the patterns formed by their earliest emotional bonds—because real, lasting change often begins with understanding attachment.

The Connection Between Attachment and Communication

Attachment theory, developed by psychologist John Bowlby, describes how early experiences with caregivers shape the ways we connect with others. These attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized—don’t just affect how we relate to parents or children; they show up in adult romantic relationships too.

For example, someone with an anxious attachment style may crave closeness and become distressed by perceived emotional distance. Their partner, who may have an avoidant attachment style, might cope by withdrawing, valuing independence, and feeling overwhelmed by emotional demands. This push-pull dynamic creates a communication loop where each partner’s behavior unintentionally triggers the other's deepest fears.

Without awareness, couples can fall into patterns that feel stuck or hopeless. But when partners begin to understand why they communicate the way they do, the dynamic shifts from blame to empathy.

How Couples Therapy in NYC Helps

In couples therapy, couples learn to recognize their attachment styles and how these influence their responses. A supportive couples therapist guides partners in identifying reactive patterns—such as shutting down during conflict or escalating small disagreements—and tracing them back to underlying attachment needs like safety, reassurance, or autonomy.

Key therapeutic goals include:

Happy couple sitting on a couch talking as a couples therapist listens. Find support when it comes to strengthening the connection with your partner with a compassionate couples therapist in NYC.

Increasing emotional safety so both partners can express vulnerability without fear of judgment or rejection.
Building awareness of how attachment histories influence current relationship behavior.
Developing new communication strategies rooted in empathy rather than reactivity.

For example, rather than saying, “You never listen to me,” a partner might learn to say, “When you look at your phone while I’m talking, I feel unimportant. I need to feel like you care about what I’m saying.” This shift from accusation to vulnerability invites connection instead of defensiveness.

From Disconnection to Understanding

At its heart, couples therapy is about more than improving dialogue—it's about healing disconnection. When partners understand the attachment needs driving each other’s behavior, they become better equipped to offer comfort, validation, and care. Misunderstandings become moments of curiosity rather than conflict.

Over time, couples can move from reactive cycles into intentional, compassionate connection. They begin to see each other not as adversaries in communication, but as teammates working through long-standing emotional patterns, together.

Find Support and Strengthen Your Connection Through Couples Therapy in NYC

Couple sitting in cafe laughing. Reconnect and grow with your partner by understanding your attachment style and improving your communication with couples therapy in NYC.

If you and your partner are struggling to communicate effectively, know that you’re not alone—and you’re not broken. Exploring your attachment styles with the guidance of a therapist can open the door to deeper understanding, greater intimacy, and a stronger emotional bond.

Michelle Comery, LCSW, is a couples therapist at The Keely Group who specializes in helping partners understand the emotional roots of their communication struggles. Her compassionate, attachment-informed approach empowers couples to reconnect and grow together.

Ready to Transform Your Relationship With Couples Therapy in NYC

If you’re ready to move beyond surface-level communication and understand the deeper patterns driving your relationship, we’re here to help. At The Keely Group, our compassionate approach to couples therapy helps you and your partner uncover your attachment styles and build a lasting emotional connection. Reach out today to begin your journey toward a stronger, more connected partnership through couples therapy in NYC. Follow these three simple steps to get started:

Read through our FAQ page to answer any lingering questions you may have about couples therapy.
Fill out our convenient online contact form to get in touch with a skilled couples therapist at The Keely Group.
Start building a lasting emotional connection with your partner!

Additional Online Mental Health Services Offered at The Keely Group in NYC

At The Keely Group, our couples therapy in NYC is designed to help you and your partner build a stronger connection by understanding your unique attachment styles. We know that daily demands and stress can strain even the most committed relationships, which is why we offer flexible online therapy options tailored for busy professionals. Alongside couples therapy, we also provide a range of supportive services to help you grow together and face life’s challenges with greater clarity and resilience. These services include: