Are You Less Successful Romantically Than In Other Areas Of Your Life?
Having achieved many of your professional goals, are you wondering what else life has to offer?
If you spend a lot of time working and/or commuting, you may have very little time left for social activities, preventing you from meeting new people. As an accomplished professional, you may also struggle to find people at your level of intelligence, ambition, or career success.
If you haven’t met anyone through work or friends, you may wonder if dating sites are your only option, especially if you feel out of place at traditional dating scenes like bars. Moreover, if you want children, you may also feel like your biological clock is ticking. Each day that passes without any meaningful relationship progress can make it feel like you’re falling further behind.
Establishing a close relationship with another person can greatly enrich your life. Though dating in The City That Never Sleeps poses unique challenges—especially for mature professionals—there are ways to reduce the level of frustration involved and to increase your chances of developing a fulfilling relationship.
Dating In NYC Presents Cultural And Demographic Barriers
It can be difficult to make meaningful connections in the fast-paced, increasingly technology-driven culture of the 21st century. Many of us have forgotten how to connect with people—or never learned this skill in the first place. You may be willing to put in the time and energy required to build a meaningful relationship, but your date or partner may not be. This uphill battle can be a recipe for low self-esteem or self-worth issues, depression, and anxiety.
Establishing romantic connections is particularly difficult in New York, where 43 percent of women and 47 percent of men have never been married, according to the Census Bureau. It’s not that most New Yorkers want to be single. In fact, singles in New York are actually more likely want to marry than singles in most other states. So, why are so few people finding partners?
The frenetic energy of the city, the close proximity of so many other people, and the resulting robust interpersonal boundaries many people build up around themselves make dating in NYC more complicated than in less populated cities. Showing “weakness” can be detrimental to business negotiations, corporate endeavors, and in industries that have historically been male-dominated and can be downright dangerous on the streets of New York. Putting an emotional wall between yourself and others can protect you, but it can also be a barrier to the development of new relationships.
And if you’re a straight woman in New York, for example, you’ll also encounter demographic challenges to finding a suitable partner. There are fewer than three college-educated men for every four degree-holding women in New York City, according to the New York Post.
It can be extremely frustrating to watch friends partner up, move to the ‘burbs and start families if your own romantic efforts have met with limited success. But you’re not the only person going through this, and your romantic goals are still achievable. Through therapy, you can get the emotional support you need and increase your chances of finding and developing a fulfilling relationship.
What Is Relationship Therapy?
Relationship therapy provides practical tools and emotional support to help you reduce relationship-related anxiety and depression, allowing you to connect more deeply with your date or partner as you work to build the kind of relationship you’ve been dreaming of.
In our sessions, we’ll set aside judgment as we explore where you are now and where you’d like to be. I know that every situation is unique, so I’ll listen closely as I seek to understand your feelings, challenges, and goals. I can help you develop a sense of compassionate curiosity to understand how your thoughts and feelings are shaping your behaviors, and I’ll teach you how and when to be kinder with yourself.
Therapy will help you see how your past experiences may be shaping your perception of your situation. In some cases, this new perspective can serve to reveal your prospective partner in a new light. As communication barriers drop away, you might begin to notice that your partner is putting in more effort than you had previously realized. . . or, conversely, that they’re not the match you thought they were.
I’ll help you remove—or forge new paths around—the psychological obstacles that stand between you and your goals. We’ll also address the practical difficulties of dating for mature professionals. For example, if your friends and colleagues are largely unavailable for social outings after work, you’ll have limited access to their social networks, decreasing your chances of meeting someone.
To help you expand your own social circle, I’ll suggest other ways of meeting people, both online and offline. I may recommend specific websites or in-person venues, but more importantly, I’ll encourage you to cultivate your personal interests. As you do, new relationships with compatible individuals will likely begin to form organically.
Relationship-building is never a straight line from zero to happy, but therapy can help you experience less anxiety and greater acceptance if things don’t work out. You’ll also know with greater certainty when to invest in relationships and when to move on.
Some of my clients have developed rewarding relationships shortly after starting sessions with me. I can’t guarantee that will happen for everyone, but I’m confident that when the right opportunity presents itself, you’ll be better prepared to capitalize on it.
As you consider relationship therapy, you may wonder…
I’m a highly successful professional. Can you help me find someone on my level?
The last thing a successful professional needs is to date someone who wants them to become “smaller” or to “tone down” the qualities that make them who they are. So, it’s important to establish a set of standards for your future partner. That said, many of my clients have also benefited from taking a critical look at whether the parameters they’ve established represent what they truly need from a partner. If you approach each new possibility with creativity and an open mind, you’ll be more likely to find what you’re looking for without settling for something that just looks good on paper.
If I invest time and energy in building a new relationship, will it hurt my career?
It takes time and patience to find and develop meaningful relationships. You might fear that abandoning the frantic pace you’ve been keeping—even for just an hour or two a week—might somehow spill over into the professional realm, hindering your career success.
In my experience, though, investing in the non-professional aspects of your life won’t diminish your ambition but strengthen it. If you value certain qualities in yourself that have helped you to succeed professionally, such as assertiveness, you won’t have to give them up. You’ll just learn how to apply them more intentionally and more strategically.
Are you going to go all Freud on me?
Maybe mom and dad influenced how you relate to others; maybe they didn’t. Either way, my job isn’t to assign blame or to make you feel embarrassed or defensive. My job is to figure out how you’re currently wired and how you got there so we can work out any glitches. Whether you’re conscious of it or not, your younger years were extremely formative in terms of how you learned to interpret and react to the world. Talking about your childhood experiences may give us access to insights that can accelerate your progress in our sessions, and I’d like to be able to utilize any tools that will help you achieve your goals as quickly as possible.
Dating Help For Busy Professionals
Despite any setbacks you may have had, it is still possible to find someone who puts you first and makes you feel loved and accepted. I’ve been helping clients to maximize their romantic potential for more than 10 years. I’d enjoy helping you build stronger connections. Schedule a free 20-minute phone consultation today.